A re-awakening to gratitude: a gift given to me by a hummingbird

This short story about gratitude was something I wrote on social media earlier on my journey with facial paralysis. My hope is that it inspires you to remember your worth when dealing with adversity, no matter what that adversity might be.

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July 30, 2019

The other day, I had the honour and privilege of saving a male hummingbird from the grips of my youngest cat, who is seemingly becoming a prolific hunter like my other cat. He once brought home a baby robin that we saved, and had caught a dragonfly, one of my favourite winged insect beings. I tried to save this dragonfly by putting it back outside only to find our other cat had grabbed it and eaten it right after. But I digress. This is about a hummingbird.

As I was preparing to leave to take my dog for a walk by closing the back door, I noticed one of my cats was under the kitchen table playing with something. At first glance, it looked like he had brought in a mouse. As I took a closer look, to my surprise, I saw wings flapping in desperation to get away from my cat's big fangs! Oh my, what a small bird this was. I hadn't yet made the connection he was a hummingbird. He displayed a dance between fighting to get away and submitting under the shock and pressure of imminent pain and, ultimately, death.

I quickly mitigated the situation by moving my cat away and then gently scooping the bird into my hands. He was completely limp, but I could feel his heart pumping hard. I knew his time was short and I had to act quickly to help this beautiful being survive the shock. I immediately walked outside, then focused my attention on his tiny body, sending him vibrations that could assist him in coming back from the shock he was undergoing.

As I very gingerly inspected him for any injury, I was glad to see he only had a few ruffled feathers. It was then that I realized I was gifted with the presence of a magnificent hummingbird, usually a difficult bird to see up close like this. The colouring on his feathers was of absolute magical brilliance with its iridescence. His beak was curved and long. This is what caused me to realize the exact being I was nursing back to life in that moment.

I sent this being calm, love, and healing light vibrations. I told him he needed to survive for his little ones, wherever they were. I visualized him flying out of my hands and back to his life. He opened his eyes and looked into mine, deeply penetrating my soul with his. He saw me. He saw who I really was. And I saw his body move from a state of anxiety and shock to a state of calm and peace. He didn't care that my face was not the same as it was before, that it was no longer symmetrical, that one blink was different than the other. He saw Me, and he knew that he was safe in my hands. It was a beautiful, silent, powerful exchange and a long connection devoid of words, but it was an exchange that communicated so much.

I held my hands out high in front of me so he could feel the breeze on his body and know that whenever he was ready, he could fly away to freedom. He was so still while directing his gaze at me and to his world in my backyard. Then, without notice, he just flew away into one of my trees. I hope that he survived. He must have. I trust he did.

The universe gifts us in so many ways if we are willing to pay attention. My body is not who I really am. And despite how it changes, my goodness, my caring, my brilliance, my strength, and my love will always shine through and the core of who I am will remain, even when my personality changes. I am so grateful for the energy healing work I learned so that I could help this beautiful being survive his ordeal. Birds often succumb to the shock of being attacked before they are able to bounce back.

And this brings me now to all of the people who helped me. I want to thank each and every person who held me in their hands when I was on the brink and whose grace helped me stay here so that I may continue doing the work I am meant to continue doing on this spaceship called Earth, in this body that I am learning to love unconditionally. Each and every kind word, phone call, listening ear, insights shared and healing energy sent my way, was my community holding me in their hands helping me to feel safe enough to take flight once again.

I am grateful to everyone who supported me, from the depths of my soul. I have been finding my way back slowly, accepting what is and learning to fly anyway.

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May you find your way over and over again whenever you feel lost.